Answers For a Confused Girl's Heart

It always amazes me when a prayer is answered in such a short time period. I am totally okay going with the flow and finding how God eventually worked it out for me. Because He is pretty amazing and does that. And sometimes it is even sweeter when we wait and experience trial and error and pain- and then find it was all worth it in the end.

But when He just springs an instant answer on me- an instant relief.. It blows me away.
An hour before I was sitting at dinner with a friend and telling her how I didn't want to have feelings for a certain guy, who will not be named, and I told her it was difficult because I really wanted to stay his friend in the process. But he is not who God wants me to be with.
I told her how faithful God was during my other confusing relationships and how He delivered me as soon as I laid it down and said.. "okay, your turn God.. you can run my life much better than I can.." And I told God that I needed Him to once again do this for me. I wanted my contentedness to be found in Him. I
also had help from Lindsey who reminded me that I didn't have to be the "strong" one.. but that God is my strength..

Sunday was a great day. A day of tears.. a day of happiness.
a day of remembering who I was- a child of light- of God.

And by that night.. when I saw him.. the attraction was gone. I don't know how to explain it exactly, except that it is a God-thing. It almost scared me that it was so instant, because I am fearful that it is a fluke and that when I see him again it will spark something... but at the moment- I feel nothing towards him besides friendship. And I know it is because God wants me to rely on Him fully so He will give me every opportunity to come back to Him. And I have. I just heard these lyrics play as I write this by 'Run Kid Run'..

"I have made my choice to follow... I will worship you Lord, forever"

And it is a choice to follow God. He gave us this choice.. and sometimes the line that we walk on between worldliness and faith is unclear.. and we have to pray and keep reading the Lord's word to figure out what He is telling us.. where the Spirit is leading us.

On my way back home I teared up a little as my nostalgic side kicked in. I felt like a relationship had ended.. without the guy even knowing. How many times can one say they have gotten over a guy without doing anything drastic to gain his attention, or to tell him? But this was how God took care of me that night, and how He repeatedly steers me on the correct path.

I never realized how difficult it would be returning back home. but I am SO thankful for the tests that I have undergone. I was talking to my friend Jenny and told her that after I am forgiven then I don't regret my past- because I have grown so much from what the Lord has taught me about it. He takes our sins and brings them to light- so we can use them against sin, for other people's sake. For the kingdom.

Its also sweet to see how the Lord brings the right people into my life to help me through these emotions.. like how Stevie and I learn so much from each other's faith and relationships and her straight forward advice.. and Lynds who has had my back since 3rd grade.. its really awesome to see the Lord work through people to touch my heart.


So thanks, God.. for an amazing answer..
and a quick response to a confused girl's heart,
that could have been so much more complex and painful...