Running Ragged

It only makes sense that running yourself thin will only run your body down, but I never seem to get that hint until after my body shuts down. I think I have had an allergy attack.. aka.. sinus infection a total of 4 different times starting this year. It usually happens when I am going, going, going and not resting up. And I am not writing this for you to feel sorry for me. I am just really angry with myself right now.. because I leave in 4 days..yeah.. not a good time. And then my teacher, well, he is AWESOME.. up until this week.. I have written to him twice to make sure I can make up work when I get back, and for once he hasn't responded.. and my mom is stressing about the trip, and the homework is extra this week because I have a 5 page paper and misc. assignment on top of the other stuff. And I felt crappy today. I lashed out at my parents at lunch.. using sarcasm that I hadn't heard from my own mouth in a month or so.. and there was some sort of sick vengeance in my tone that I hated. It wasn't me...

And then my friend, lynds, whom I was complaining to over text.. just simply reminded me to "have faith".. the words that I have told people so many times.
You are tested the most in your trials... even though this was a mini-trial.. a temporary stress.. at the moment it drained me. And then I started thinking of how I bet satan really hates the fact that I am following God's voice to another country. I bet he hates that I didn't stay home to make lots of money to spend it on myself. I bet he hates my faith.. He hates my trust in a God that never leads me astray. He hates everything about me.

And that made me smile. Who knew? Usually I feel horrible when someone is the least mad at me and I try to fix the problem immediately. But this... this felt good. Because if the enemy of God hates me.. then how much does God love me? How proud of me is He? "Be joyful in affliction" He told me in His word..

I think it was my own stupidity of running every night to quincy to see friends and play sports.. playing almost 8 volleyball games in one night.. getting chilled.. getting little sleep.. eating unhealthy for awhile.. etc.. But I believe it was something more evil that was using that tiredness and sickness to lower my spirit and take me back to the person I had fled when Jesus came into my life. A person I had forgotten about.

I was amazed at my immaturity at lunch today. But those incidents really shake you up.. and, I believe, make you run back to Jesus even faster. I did get some meds at my mother's request.. and I hope whatever this is goes away before I leave.. but I know that I must be joyful during this, to give it all to God anyway. Who knows what opportunity I could miss while I am being my old selfish self?

So here is some advice: get rest. eat healthy. and save some time for you and God.

Just sayin...