As I write this I realize my eyelids are batting a little slower than usual and my thoughts will probably come out in a blob of oozing confusion, but it is essential to remember today. Today I saw God work in great ways. Ways that may have been small to some, but joyful in my heart.
The last few days I have been on a roller coaster of stress, nerves, worry, anticipation, excitement, confusion and exhaustion. I thought the world rested on my shoulders those few days and one small move I would wreck existence.. kind of selfish, don't you think? Yeah, apparently this is just one way God showed me the wrinkles that still need to be ironed out in trusting Him. I realized that I wanted to do Advent Conspiracy FOR God's glory, yet did I ever sit down and ask him what He wanted to be done? Did I let Him in on His own Glory? Last night, while I was sitting in the dark talking to Him I felt very convicted of this.
"So yeah, ya know God, guess I should have seen what You wanted to do on Jesus' birthday...Since He IS your son and all..."
Hypocrite.
That's how I felt last night, and I realized why I was feeling the pressure of the world and not sleeping because of stress. Why was it so hard to be still and listen? to wait? Does this shine true in other aspects of my life? I know it has to, but I am blind to ever notice. But God showed me my wrongs. The next morning, this morning, I got on my knees and gave the day to Him and what He wanted to happen.
And today happened awesomely.
I have never been so impacted by friends as I have been the last few days. I have been surrounded by love and prayers on a crazy level. And then today I got to see my friends and fellow students really get excited about [AC] and want to change our nation's outlook on Christmas... when they'd speak up and tell by-passers about it.. My heart sang.
There were many opportunities of people approaching us, and either agreeing with what we were doing or getting into a spiritual conversation about how they could do this even if they weren't a christian. And I felt God giving us the words to say in those times.
Though I was dragging by the end of the night.. I had some great meaningful conversations with friends, strangers and students.. and as we walked away I looked back at the table in relief and could boldy state that by God's power, and His glory, it had been a victorious day.
2 comments:
Love this! And I can't wait to hear everyone else telling the stories of how God showed up yesterday!!
I decided to read your blog again before going to sleep :) I I remember talking a little bit about some of this whenwe worked the table together. And i just wanted to say that, when you were talking about deciding to go before God and ask what He wanted and giving it up to Him, that I was blown away. It really spoke of your character. To know that you were seeking the Lord's will was awesome. I wanted to let you know that is one my favorite things about you. And I am praying that you continue to go before Him everyday and see what He has for you :)
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