I am weirded out that Advent Conspiracy is actually happening at UIS. It may not be a big smashing hit the first year.. but it is really amazing to see a little idea transform, with help of many brains and hearts, into this creature unraveling before me. I can't even comprehend how God makes these things happen, but I am so excited to be in the mix. I am humbled to see how this affects my own life.. and how I must live this out, or I will be a major hypocrite. It is only about 5% flattering to be a leader, I've realized.. and the rest of the 95% is doggy paddling with your head barely above water.. But not in a negative sense.... though the thought of drowning is normally a negative connotation. I realize that wasn't the best analogy, but I am good at that. What I mean is that I have had to look at my pride a lot. Take a step back and get on my knees.. Shakah God, as Dave taught us.. and really humble ourselves. Tonight in worship practice I told my team that I had pride issues. And to be honest, I don't know how to fix it.. but all I know is that it makes me want to vomit and I want to be like Jesus more than anything. Sometimes, okay, normally, I don't admit such translucent sins... because we want people to think we aren't "that person". Mainly.. because prideful people get under my skin more than anyone in the world. Ironic? Yes.. I knew God had a sense of humor.. He probably tunes into the Office at 8:00 every Thursday as well. I wouldn't doubt it. And so by seeing these people and despising their actions.. I am really only seeing myself in them.. and hating the little part of my heart that hasn't succumbed to God's will, yet.
Advent Conspiracy is super exciting.. but it has put me in a place that I have always shied away from.. and I am glad for it. I am glad Jesus wants me to deal with these issues in a community that will love me no matter what. So, whomever reads this.. this is my confession, and you can hold me accountable...
I do declare...
2 comments:
haha...I love you! I'm so excited about Advent Conspiracy....and even if only 2 people make this Christmas different, it's a success!
I've missed reading your blogs before going to bed :( but it's something I'd like to start doing again. I think this is the one I left off on...if not you can let me know :)
I think it's pretty dang cool getting to read your thoughts from the past because I get to see how God has answered prayers and how He's been growing you.
I really enjoy your analogies and metaphors even when they don't completely line up cause they're usually the best :) but you still do an amazing job with them and are usually right on with them.
PS I really don't see you as a prideful person. You are incredibly humble and it's just one more of the amazing characteristics that God has blessed you with and I'm sure will continue to develope and grow you more and more into a godly woman.
Post a Comment