Break Me Into Pieces

It has been a weird couple of days.
A tiring past couple of days.
Not physically so much.
Just tired.
Tired of worldliness.
It is so freakin' suffocating.
It is exhausting to fight this spiritual battle,
plus fighting yourself and your doubts.
I hate that my pride gets in the way of my faith.
A jealous bubble rises in my chest that I don't know how to pop.
"I deserve more" my brain thinks.. but my soul knows I deserve nothing.
How do I connect these? How do I tell my brain that it is just
a bunch of goop and ideas that America taught me as a child?
That Jesus has made me new, and His ideas are based upon humility.

Man, I want that humility more than anything.
Please God..

"Scenes of you keep rushing through,
you are breaking me down..
So Break me into pieces,
that will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die..
for the murder in my heart
so be gentle with me Jesus..
as you tear me apart..
Please kill the liar..
kill the thief in me.
You know that I am tired of their cruelty.
Breathe into my spirit.
Breathe into my veins.
Until only Love Remains.."
-JJ Heller