A Love That Is Grown

When it comes to love and romance, I am a very skeptical person. I think the term "falling in love" is the worse quote ever said. This is implied that people plummet head first into something that they don't think about.
Unfortunately,this is the case for most people. And the media portrays this in movies.. "I have only known her one day, three days, a week..and I am in love!" No, you are in lust.
Yes, there is a sort of excitement and attraction you get when you first meet a person. Where is the joy in dating or courting or engagements or marriage if that wasn't true.
But personally, I decided that I would stop "falling" for guys who didn't match up with my personality, my interests, and most importantly... my faith. I do think anyone, when given enough intimate time with someone, can begin falling in love with someone if their head is in the wrong place. So why allow that to happen until its too hard to get out of that relationship? Be on guard.
I know a friend who has been dating her boyfriend for so long that she picks the comfort of "sameness" over what is best for her. I was the same way, and I chose the comfort of sameness for so long that it brought my soul to a breaking point. Why do we women settle? Do we not think we can do better? Don't we know what it says in the bible about women? Our creator views us as precious creatures, so precious that our husbands are willing to die for us out of pure love. To love us as Christ loved the church. That is how worth it we are. (read Eph5:25-33 if you don't believe me)

However, my skepticism reached a point where I hated love altogether. I saw some marriages who were true to the Lord, and I knew I wouldn't settle again.
Then I met Jonathan and the cold stone that had covered my heart began to chip away. God allowed an amazing man to enter my life, and enter my heart.

The last 8 months have been a time of joy, struggle, tears, faith, laughter, sacrifice and commitment. Jonathan and I have learned what it means to follow Christ in a relationship and not put our own desires ahead of Him. Yes, it is hard to be single, but I will admit it is even tougher to be dating and be accountable for your actions and the other person's as well.

I just finished the book "Sex God" by Rob Bell and it was a good reminder of how to love one another. One of the things he pointed out, is that we aren't to go into a relationship with a believer and hold him on a pedestal and say.. "if only he did this, or this, and this..." instead we are to already see him as the man God has created him to be, and love him for that. There is so much depth and hard work in love. It isn't about meeting someone for a day and "falling in love" and once the happy feeling is gone, you move on to someone else. I get so angry when I hear people divorce because they fell out of love... What does that mean? People grow, they are not stone tablets. They are flourishing flowers that are complex and constantly struggling or rejoicing in something new. We grow with one another, we learn.. we don't stop loving because something changes. I know I am not married yet, so I have much more to learn about love. I don't say all this stuff because I have "arrived" but because I have grown and learned already. I love Timothy, because he was young and Paul tells him "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." (1 Tim4:12)... I have always liked that sentence.

The whole point of this blog was to express the blessing I have been given in Jonathan Andrew Barnett. I may be being overly sentimental because I will finally see him tomorrow after two long months, but I don't care. People, including me, blog their problems all too often, and they never share what brings joy in their life.

This man has entered a place in my heart that I never knew a human could go. His love for me, his sacrifices, his commitment, his dedication, his growth in God and in our relationship has nourished a love that started out as a tiny seed called attraction. As God in our center, it has been tougher and more revealing, more selfless.. but the reward is hard to express in words. I look at him and feel a love that only a Creator can give two people. It's as if God has ordained this relationship and said, "now that you have agreed to serve me in this, I will bless you with such joy in it." I have this respect and awe for him that has only grown since we met. Every hurdle we tackle and every prayer we lift up for one another grows us closer to our Lord and to one another.

How did I ever think a relationship without God was close to fulfillment? I would have missed out on the best thing in the world. My settling tore my Father's heart and stopped my growth as a Jesus follower and as a person in general. Its kind of funny that people use the term, "Settling down" when you start a family.. I can only imagine it will blossom and grow immensely if you are planted in God.

Needless to say, I am blessed, humbled, and thankful.
And I am overtly excited to lock eyes with my boyfriend tomorrow in the airport, and let that familiar feeling of a grown love wash over me.