I've always heard that patience is a virtue, and I am starting to believe its more than that... its the key to a better way of living.
I am an impulsive person when it comes to decisions and emotions... I want things to happen now, because it would be "right" for them to. But since when has my "right" been for the better good? Its just a selfish fantasy. I like to think I will grow out of my ways, because it is kind of immature to be daydreaming about surreal images and events. It seems if I start getting to know a guy then all I see is this amazing individual who is the sweetest and most amazing person I know. Sure, he very well could be once I get to know him...
but the fact is.. when it comes to love.. I'm impulsive.
But I am learning.. always learning.
I have realized my heart craves more than just a husband. But a man who I can see Jesus in. Someone who will bring me farther in my faith and will push me to be a better disciple. But how does one find such a man? That's been my dilemna for sometime now.
Todd said something Friday about Silence.. and how it is important in our life.. to listen to what God has to say to us.
I tried it this morning, and it was very refreshing.. I didn't hear God say anything profound to me, yet I felt Him in every bird's song and breeze that grazed my cheek. And ya know what? Maybe He was saying something profound... He was telling me.. "I'm here... what are you rushing for? I know when the time is right."
So I am silencing my heart.. or trying to. I am human.. so I will mess it up a lot I can only imagine... I am a romantic and a dreamer.. the worst combination for someone trying to be logical. But there is always one thing I can dream about... heaven! So I plan to turn my mind to that surreal vision when my heart wants something unbelievable, pure and honest. And I will be patient and silent, until God decides my heart is ready.
1 comment:
I like this post Em :) If blogspot had a like button, I'd press it.
I think it's kind of cool how even at this time in your life you were seeking for a dude who loved Jesus; you knew that was a good thing and wanted it, but you didn't want to rush things and wait on God's timing. I really hope I'm living up to that guy, the one who keeps pushing you to Jesus, and getting to walk hand in hand with you following the Lord's will and helping you focus on God all the time and not just some of the time. And I hope we continue to look for God's handiwork in our lives in the big and super small areas of life.
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