The Edge

My soul is still soaring from last night. It was our first "Edge" (Christian Student Fellowship) worship and fellowship service of the year! The room was packed with a LOT of new faces... more than I anticipated, but was still praying for! I was also a little nervous and anxious to sing "hosanna" for the first time, but when the time came for it, I definitely felt God's peace rest in me.. when I closed my eyes I was in His presence. It is a powerful song, especially when the students are belting it before me and Dave is confidently singing harmonies beside me.. Also, Amanda standing next to me silently singing with me gave me great reassurance, and Katie's beautiful piano skills topped it all off. I have sang in front of people since 6th grade in all sorts of competitions and private lesson concerts, but I have never felt quite the same, as I did last night. Christ is so amazing and He calmed my nerves by the supportive people and amazing friends that kept pouring love, prayers and reassurances into me (and still are!). I never realized how much our insecurities can block us from Jesus, until last night. What if I had never mentioned to the team that I was capable of singing, because of fear, because I fear being prideful? Today would have been a whole lot less meaningful.. and my confidence would have kept shriveling away to nothing. Man, I am so thankful for the people in my life.. and how I have grown so much in a year.. and how the team has made me realize I have gifts and I shouldn't be ashamed to let Jesus utilize them...

Todd's message was pretty sweet too, and I thought it was so true. We have all these pre-conceived notions about a Jesus... but the truth is that he was unpredictable, loving, raw, gentle, powerful, a rebel, agape... All these things that are deeper than anything we have ever seen with our own eyes or felt ourselves. How can any of us think we know Jesus in His entirety? I live my days allowing Him to transform me into the woman He wants me to be... but I will still never understand His sacrifice.. His love.. Every day I learn something new, and its really exciting to know that my learning will never run out.. He always has something new to teach me. My God is not boring.. not stagnant.

So last night was a tremendous praise to God! I have been writing some blogs that are more prayer requests.... but this one is loaded with praise, because God wants us to live with joy in our lives.. and I want that 24/7 joy!

It was a good night...