Blessed on Earth

I know life is a never ending roller coaster of highs, lows, and content mid-ground. It is never the same for long and something will come up in your life that you must battle through or something that happens so great all you can do is smile and thank God. The latter has happened to me lately. A couple weeks ago I was in an extreme low and all I wanted to do was sleep and cry. And then God delivered me after I had mourned. He didn't deliver me immediately.. and I am thankful for His timing, every time.

But as I was saying earlier.. it has been an extreme high since last week and optimistically I know my life will be even greater from here on out. Yet, I also know the roller coaster will dip again through pain and pride and self-worth and I will strap myself in because that's all I know how to do. But God never leaves me through these times. He is as evident in these low times as He is in my surreal and joyful times.

A lot of my blogs talk about my struggles and how God has helped me overcome them. But this blog is about God's rewards. I know a lot of people believe our only reward comes in Heaven. But I don't think I believe that. I love the two bible verses where one states.. "God will give us the desires of our hearts"... and then the other one that says something about how when you are lost in God "your desires become His desires". Isn't that an epic blessing that we receive before heaven? Also.. is the Holy Spirit not an amazing blessing that Jesus sent down to us after He went back to His Father? The kingdom starts here, in the now, and we must live like we have already been saved and freed from sin. Being a christian is not about being another "sheep" of followers in a church. Its about following Jesus and wanting to look like Him.. because He has called US to be saints. Thats right.
"Consequently you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household." Ephesians 2:18

We are members of God's household. If we actually think about that.. it will blow our minds. We are not of this world. Yes, we will still struggle and worry and fear and become arrogant. But with God's help we can overcome it, and while overcoming it.. He will use it to bless us here on earth AND in heaven. He will use it to not only bless us, however. When talking to girls about my past un-godly relationships, it sucked, but I felt God calling me to it. And through that I have seen Him not only transform their lives but to bring me peace about it. He utilized my sins for His kingdom. And I got to feel the benefits the entire time.

And now that i have entered a Christian relationship for the first time I acknowledge God's blessing in it 100%. I know my God is a jealous God and He would not want me with anyone else less worthy. It is an extreme blessing and relief to not fight up current with Him in this issue.. and instead feel the peace and Glory of Him through this.
I have been struggling with what God wants of me lately.. not knowing whether my gifts are enough or if I should step out and overcome my weaknesses. Last night, turning down an opportunity to speak about my past in public, really wrecked my heart. I wasn't sure what God wanted of me or if He'd forgive me for turning down a great opportunity to talk about His glory. JB sent me this verse this morning and it brought tears to my eyes.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below indeed nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

that verse reinforced the love of Christ.. and knowing He will use me when the timing is right. When I miss an opportunity it doesn't mean I have missed out on the Kingdom.. but that He will keep showing me ways to share His loving Word in the ways He has gifted me best...
and I will forever be blessed along with all followers of Christ, here on earth..
until we are eternally blessed in Heaven.