In Retrospect

The last post I journaled while I was enjoying God's beauty and thinking on my summer. It may have made sense to a few of you.. but I feel like a little explanation will help understand my parables...
I had a very hard transition coming from UIS. I had an amazing group of friends, boyfriend and a campus ministry that I didn't realize I would miss so much, until it was all gone. I hated going back home, and I hated deciding to stay there longer. But I wanted to be there for my parents and help them in their time of need. It was my time to return the favor.
I hated going back.
But I love that i did.
Most of the time, 95% of it, I felt useless- like my life had no worth. I missed small groups and meaningful conversations, coffee shops, and just being close to friends. But being at home taught me yet another lesson about love. My parents told me and still tell me that it meant the world to them that I was there while mom was out of commission.
And now... I know that it changed me, too. I grew more respectful and matured while I was there. I now have a better relationship with my parents that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I saw them when they needed me, for once. Their guard down, and relying on me. It was hard for me to talk about God deeply with them.. but I did bring Him up in conversation and I always wondered if it made a difference. It may have, but I think my actions spoke louder, even if inside I was restless.

I had a small breakthrough with my dad that makes me smile, even as I type this. It was a breakthrough in the form of C.S. Lewis. My dad is a very formal, intelligent man.. and his library consists of history books and biographies that are strictly factual. I don't know if he has ever read a fiction book to save his life. And I also know he doesn't really read faith-based books, or at least none that I have seen. So I thought I would take a chance, and I purchased Mere Christianity for him. Apparently, he devoured the book and loved Lewis' writing. I figured he would. But it elated me to no end. Finally, something we could relate to!
I had kind of forgotten about it until last week when my parents came to Springfield to visit me. My dad wanted to stop in Barnes and Noble for a book, so we waited in the car for him. Out he came, a history book in one hand.. and in the other a compilation of 5-6 stories by C.S. Lewis. I could have cried if I was the type of person who cried (often). I know many of you won't understand the excitement I have about a silly book.. but some of you who know me, know this is a big deal. And I had to share it... so praise God!

And now, as I go through yet another transition- adjusting to a different household and "parental figures", I look back and am thankful for my summer. It wasn't what I had planned or hoped for, but it was exactly what God had in mind.

And who can argue with that?