A Real Craving

  As our week in Panama progressed the stories started sounding the same.  We would get person after person who had been left by friends or who was tired and buzzed and wasn't sure they liked that "scene" anymore.  Only so much alcohol can make you forget.  And everyone has a reason to want to forget something.  We had picked up a girl the first night who was so wasted she had lost her shoes, her friends and brought pieces of a bush into the van with her that was embedded into her skin.  She couldn't recall how she got into this state, but she was grateful she had people who would deliver her safely to her hotel.  Her humorous comments kept us lighthearted through the ride, but her lonesomeness left me heartbroken afterwards.  But her honesty, along with most of the people we spoke with, was totally unexpected.  We got to sit and talk with many people about their lives and what they believed in.  We knew we were being mocked by the majority of the crowd behind out backs, but those people we did reach... Well, it was worth it.  One guy named Hamilton sat outside a club with some of our students and told them about his life and learned about their faith.  He may not have said, "sure, I will believe in your God"... but when we had to leave, he wanted to come too.  There were so many people just looking for something real.  Whether that's real conversation, real friendship or someone real to live for.  This radical idea that "those crazy christians" were offering free rides to people from bar to bar and free pancakes in the morning could be laughable from many people's viewpoints.  But it gave us sweet opportunity to talk to people.  At times it felt as if we were in the trenches helping fight battles for the people we had just met.  We offered them a hope.  We showed them Christ.  We showed them He doesn't only exist inside the walls of a church building, but that He would be out there loving on them the same way (and much better).
    It was one of the last nights and the exhaustion had begun to settle in.  We had just gotten a text to pick up a "Tim" outside of club La Vela.  Some other people with Beach Reach were talking to him and when we got there we waited another 8 or so minutes for him to get in our van...
   Finally, after the 8 minutes was up, Tim enters the van holding a pizza hut box.  He said his friends had left him and he had lost a pass that would get him into the clubs.  He didn't seem as if he had been drinking much, if at all, so the conversation got deep pretty quickly when he told us about the students from Beach Reach he had been talking to right before we came to pick him up.  He said they made him see Christianity in a different light and that he was really interested now.  He kind of talked about why he doesn't believe certain things in the bible, and we got to share with him why we believe what we do.  Ryan (CSFer) got to pray with him before he headed into his hotel room.  He really wanted to stay and hang out with us in the van, but out limited space wouldn't allow it.  It was so awesome to hear him tell us he wanted to go back to his room so he could read the bible.  He was going to start reading in John.  That night I prayed God would show him the truth that our human mouths couldn't give him.  I hope he can find the realness in this world of made up nursery stories and apathy. 
   And I hope I can keep showing how real my faith is, even when I suck at loving God, but knowing He will continue to love me nevertheless.  Because when I looked into the eyes of the people we were ministering to, I knew exactly where they had been.  The lost rebellion of a generation who wants it all but never gets enough.  The pain of not being good enough and being too much all at the same time.  And on my darkest days that past will haunt me until I go to my knees and remember the truth and realness of my Creator.  We were all lost once, but we will be found.  And our God is so loving He gives us the choice to love and choose Him in return.  And then share it with those around us.  Because if there is one thing I learned... its that every person wants to be known.  And who better to introduce them to than the one who knows them the best.